Meet Danielle, an adventurous person who went to the USA to work as an Au Pair, expecting the usual challenges and joys that come with the role. But her experience turned out to be different than she thought. During the interview process she was informed about the host dad’s illness, believing she had mentally prepared for the situation. However, when she arrived at the family’s home, she realized that the situation was more complicated than she had imagined.
The host dad was diagnosed with throat cancer and had reached a point where round-the-clock nursing care became a necessity. This was something Danielle hadn’t prepared for, and it was harder than she expected. The journey was tough, and the road ahead seemed daunting, but Danielle persevered. In the process, something extraordinary happened—this host family, initially connected by circumstance, transformed into a bond for life. Danielle’s inspiring story shows that even when faced with unexpected challenges, people can build strong connections that last a lifetime.
Danielle completed high school in 2002, and the pressure of deciding her future path left her feeling uncertain. In a thoughtful suggestion, her mother recommended taking a gap year and exploring Au Pairing. After thorough research and seeking advice, Danielle was directed to EurAuPair. In 2003, she embarked on her Au Pair journey in the picturesque USA, commencing with a one-week training course in the heart of New York City. Her stay at the YMCA in Manhattan provided a firsthand experience of the bustling cities of America, a week filled with making friends, preparing for the Au Pair year, exploring, and overcoming jetlag—an unforgettable start.
Her host family resided in the charming town of Woody Creek, Colorado, just 20 minutes from Aspen. Consisting of the host dad, host mom, and their two-and-a-half-year-old child, Grayson. This was Danielle’s first venture into the world of Au Pairing, and the host family was also new to the experience. During her first week with the family, they extended a warm welcome by inviting some of their extended family over. Uncertain about how the year would unfold, Danielle contemplated a rematch. Ultimately, she chose to persevere, a decision she now considers wise. Looking back, Danielle realizes that the host family not only made a significant impact on her life but also became a source of cherished memories.
The first four months proved challenging for Danielle as she adjusted to a household where tensions were high. Working in an emotionally charged environment, where the host dad required round-the-clock care and spent most of his time in bed, was stressful. At 19 years old, Danielle had to quickly mature and find her footing. Despite the difficulties, her close relationship with both parents provided a sense of comfort. The host dad’s separate bedroom arrangement, due to his illness, prompted Danielle to take Grayson to his dad’s room every day for quality father-son time—an intimate routine that remains etched in her memories.
Danielle’s workday revolved around tending to Grayson’s laundry and handling household chores while awaiting his morning wake-up. Given Grayson’s lack of a consistent bedtime routine, mornings brought variety, with some evenings seeing him go to bed as late as midnight, leading to slow mornings. Upon his awakening, Danielle prepared breakfast, and together, they explored parks or took walks. A local diner became a lunchtime favorite for Grayson. They spent considerable time with the host dad, and Grayson attended daycare twice a week, providing Danielle some free time. The host mom played a crucial role in assisting Danielle with her Au Pair responsibilities and adapting to their unique situation.
Culture shock and homesickness were constant companions for Danielle. Coping involved indulging in food and allowing herself to cry when sadness overwhelmed her. Missing home and family were a recurring theme, combined with the host family’s tendency to stay home, fostering a sense of isolation. Initially, Danielle filled Sundays with work to distract from missing church—a significant aspect of her life back home. After a few months, she found a local church, attending regularly on Sundays. Despite the challenges, Danielle appreciated the host family’s efforts to make her comfortable and their unwavering support.
A great memory for Danielle was the shared interest in rugby. Hailing from South Africa and with the host mom originally from New Zealand, rugby held significant importance in the household. The host mom’s dad, recognizing Danielle’s connection, would leave notes under her door about upcoming matches between their respective teams. Watching games together created enduring memories, highlighting the bond forged through a shared passion for rugby.
Danielle didn’t travel extensively, but two standout memories linger in her mind. One remarkable experience was when her host family surprised her with an all-expenses-paid trip to Las Vegas. Thrilled to explore the city’s vibrant atmosphere, Danielle’s excitement reached new heights when the host family utilized their private jet for the journey. Upon landing, a limousine whisked them away to the Bellagio Hotel & Casino, where they enjoyed the penthouse. The host family went above and beyond to ensure Danielle’s time in Las Vegas was unforgettable.
On a subsequent visit to Las Vegas with some Au Pair friends, Danielle opted for a more budget-friendly adventure. Renting a car, they embarked on a road trip, stopping at the Grand Canyon for breathtaking views and enjoyable hikes. This time, financial constraints led them to stay in a budget-friendly motel, resulting in amusing stories. However, overspending on souvenirs and sightseeing left them scrambling for money to buy food by the trip’s end, a lesson learned about budgeting for essentials.
Staying in Woody Creek turned out to be more enjoyable than expected. Although a small town, it brought along Danielle’s first white Christmas. She was in awe of all the decorations, food, gifts, and traditions that accompanied the festive season. Everything surpassed her previous experiences, making it bigger and better than ever. Living close to Aspen also gave Danielle the chance to try snowboarding for the first time. While it didn’t take her too long to get the hang of it, like most, it wasn’t entirely smooth sailing. On one occasion, she didn’t see a pole on the slope and collided with it, knocking her out briefly. Despite the mishap, she quickly recovered, and soon, snowboarding became second nature to her.
Danielle couldn’t escape the interesting questions people asked about her home country, such as “Do you have meat?”, “How do you go to school?”, and “Do you even have schools?”. These questions provided many laughs for Danielle. However, they also sparked conversations with her friends from Germany, leading to discussions where they compared aspects of their countries and languages. Danielle had always thought that German and Afrikaans were almost the same, but these enlightening conversations quickly proved her wrong.
For future Au Pairs considering this program, Danielle has some tips to share:
- Research the area where the host family is from to ensure you can adapt.
- Prepare questions for the interview, including small details that may seem unimportant.
- Investigate options for the mandatory 6 credits if applying for the USA program; there are more choices than you might realize.
Danielle utilized her time by taking a scrapbooking course and a language course for her 6 credits. The scrapbooking course, facilitated by her community counselor, was enjoyable, with other Au Pairs participating, making it a pleasant gathering. In hindsight, she wishes she had explored more options. Limited by the need to pick classes that didn’t disrupt the work schedule and the host family too much, she wasn’t aware of other available classes.
Danielle found the program to be thoroughly enjoyable, fostering self-growth and independence. A significant takeaway for her was the respect she gained from her mother. While mothers may know their daughters are strong, Danielle felt she truly demonstrated her strength. She wholeheartedly recommends the program to future participants. As a mother whose child is almost old enough for the program, she plans to encourage her daughter to become an Au Pair as well.
Before Danielle started this program, she initially planned to return home after her year in America and begin her studies. However, she enjoyed the experience of working and earning money, leading her to dive into her next job and forego the opportunity to pursue further education. While Danielle looks back with some regret about not attending university, she is content with the way her life unfolded. Au Pairing made her realize her maternal instincts and eased any fears she had about motherhood. Now, 20 years after returning home, she is the proud mother of a 17-year-old girl.
In 2005, Danielle received the heartbreaking news of the host dad’s passing. Her time with the host family left an indelible mark, and she still considers them family. Danielle maintains contact with the host mom, who gave birth to twins shortly after the host dad’s passing, using frozen sperm from when he was sick. The twins are nearly the same age as her own daughter. Grayson, now in his 20s, works in Emergency Medical Services (EMS), and the family has relocated to California since the host dad’s passing.
An article in The Aspen Times was published shortly after the host dad’s passing. You can read the full article here.
