South African Au Pair takes on Italy!
In Italy, during the lively Easter weekend, a South African turned 21 while working as an Au Pair. The blend of celebrations and new experiences made her time there truly special. Little did Melissa know that her 21st birthday, during this Au Pair journey, would be one for the books.
But where does her story begin?
It all started with a thought—”What do I want to achieve with my life in my 20s?” That’s a challenging question, especially when coming from a small town where people tend to have narrow perspectives. In her mind, Melissa always harbored the idea of Au Pairing abroad. Right after high school, she began working as a local Au Pair, gaining 2 years of experience with kids. When her 20th birthday arrived, she finally decided to explore opportunities to Au Pair abroad. Determined to Au Pair in Europe, she eagerly seized the chance to make her dream a reality when she discovered Italy was an option.
During her research on Au Pairing, she reached out to several agencies for information. Carla’s Au Pairs promptly responded, engaging her in discussions about the Italy program and the application process. Impressed by the agency’s swift communication, Melissa chose them to assist her on this journey. She was informed that her 2 years of experience, including working with kids with special needs, met the program’s criteria, and they began working on her application. As part of the application process and preparation, Melissa attended a training day hosted by Carla’s Au Pairs. The training proved to be highly informative, and they received a comprehensive training manual at the end of the day.
Upon completing her application, which included a letter to potential host families, a short video, and a photo collage, Melissa found herself with interview requests from four different families. The swift turnaround time of the interview requests heightened her excitement. After reviewing the information on the four families, Melissa quickly ruled out two of them. While the other two families seemed nice, they were looking for someone to start in December 2016, whereas Melissa was only available from January 2017. To her surprise, another family reached out, seeking an Au Pair to start in January. After a series of interviews, she ultimately matched with them.
Melissa felt a mix of nerves and excitement as she boarded the flight—her first time leaving South Africa and flying solo. The excitement overshadowed any nerves she was feeling, propelling her to Italy for a three-month adventure.
Arriving in Oderzo
Her destination was Oderzo, an intriguing small town located about 30 minutes outside of Venice. The streets boasted beautiful architecture, including a church dating back to the 10th century. At the town’s forefront was a refugee camp, an unusual sight for Melissa. However, what intrigued her the most was the town’s virtually nonexistent crime rate. In fact, it was so low that they had closed the local police station. If ever needed, police services were dispatched from the neighboring town of Treviso.
The host family consisted of four people, the mom, dad and two girls, Sofia (5) and Viola (8). They welcomed Melissa with open arms, but adapting to their vegetarian lifestyle posed a unique challenge. After a week of abstaining from meat, Melissa had the courage to ask the host mom to buy some for her. To her surprise, the next day, the host mom returned from the shops with almost their entire meat stock—quite the amusing twist. It was safe to say that Melissa had enough meat to last the three months of her stay. The host dad, with two older daughters from a previous marriage, played a significant role in helping Melissa adjust to Italy. They regularly invited her for pizza or coffee, a gesture she deeply appreciated.
Reflecting on her time, Melissa admitted she didn’t have an overly demanding workload. Her responsibilities included cleaning the kitchen after breakfast (which, given the mess, took some time), doing laundry for the kids, cleaning the bathroom and bedrooms, and preparing snacks after school. While one of the parents handled the morning school run, Melissa was responsible for picking the kids up, a 1.5 km walk from the house. Most days, they enjoyed some time at the park before heading home. On occasion, the host mom would pick them up from the park, and they’d run errands together before returning home.
Her days with Sofia and Viola were filled with rollerblading, playing Monopoly, and, surprisingly, watching Hannah Montana in Italian—an entertaining challenge. Thursdays held a special tradition for Sofia, who eagerly anticipated walking to a nearby café with Melissa for tea and cookies while Viola was occupied after school. This ritual remains one of Melissa’s fondest memories.
The cultural exchange went beyond daily activities, with the host family posing amusing questions about South Africa, like, “Do you have a lion for a pet?” or “How did it feel growing up in the jungle?” Melissa found humor in these inquiries and saw them as opportunities to educate her host family about her home country. It was a great learning experience, as she taught them about South Africa, shared some Afrikaans phrases, and, in return they educated her on some misconceptions about Italians.
As much as Melissa cherished her job, she wasn’t oblivious to the challenges it presented, with a significant hurdle being the language barrier. Overcoming this obstacle required considerable effort on her part, and she was more than willing to put in the work. Melissa utilized Google’s text-to-speech translator, which proved invaluable. The host parents also contributed by teaching her key Italian words to facilitate communication with the kids, such as “Basta,” meaning stop—an essential term during walks home from school, especially when approaching oncoming traffic or reaching a crossing.
A memorable incident highlighted the potential for miscommunication, as Melissa misunderstood Sofia saying “Mela” (meaning apple) when she was actually expressing “Male,” indicating stomach pains/cramps. Throughout the journey home from school, Melissa believed Sofia was hungry, eager to get her home for a snack. It was only upon their return that the host mom clarified that Sofia was complaining of stomach cramps. As it turned out, Sofia wasn’t feeling well and ended up staying home from school for the next two days while she recovered.
Fortunately, Melissa proved to be a quick learner of the language, and by the end of her three months in Italy, she could engage in conversations in Italian. She even participated in family dinner discussions with her host family. Understanding that miscommunications are inevitable when living in another country and learning a new language, Melissa’s host family displayed great understanding and found humor in the situations that arose.
Upon joining the host family, Melissa encountered a small issue when the housekeeper began assigning her household chores. Fortunately, this was swiftly resolved when the host mom clarified to the housekeeper that Melissa’s role was focused on caring for the kids, not cleaning the house. This incident underscored the importance of clear communication with the host family.
In terms of disciplining the host kids, Melissa applied the techniques she had learned during her training with the Au Pair agency in South Africa. Adopting a concerned rather than accusatory approach, she addressed issues with the host parents. For instance, when the kids didn’t listen to her instructions while walking home from school, she expressed her worry for their safety rather than labeling the kids as naughty. This approach proved effective in fostering productive conversations with the family about challenges related to the children.
However, one aspect Melissa wasn’t prepared for was the occasional feeling of loneliness. Reflecting on it, she wished she had been more ready for this challenge. The Au Pair program in Italy was relatively small, and Melissa found herself without other Au Pairs to share experiences with or someone to talk to who could relate to her feelings. It wasn’t until two weeks before her return to South Africa that she met another Au Pair, and they spent a weekend together exploring Venice.
When reflecting on her experience as an Au Pair in Italy, the challenges Melissa faced fade into the background. It’s the memories and experiences of her time in Italy that she cherishes most. When asked about her best memory, one particular moment stands out vividly. It was a night in Oderzo, well past midnight, as Melissa walked home listening to music—likely tunes by Ed Sheeran or Taylor Swift, as she recalls. Taking in the town’s scenery, she distinctly remembers feeling free, a sensation she hadn’t experienced in a long time. Safety concerns in South Africa meant walking alone at midnight was unthinkable in her hometown, making the freedom she felt in Oderzo all the more liberating.
Surprisingly enjoying Milan…
Another standout memory was the weekend Melissa spent in Milan. Surprisingly, Milan wasn’t high on her bucket list, but her host mom convinced her it was a must-visit. Booking accommodation at Ostello Bello, a hostel recommended by her host mom, Melissa embarked on a 3-and-a-half-hour train ride to Milan, with a stop at Lake Como. Melissa regrets not taking a moment to soak in the scenery at Lake Como, but the best part of the trip was yet to come. Arriving at the hostel, she entered her shared room to find four intriguing people already there—Kai, Katy, Lauren, and Monica. Little did Melissa know; she was in for a lot of fun with this dynamic group. Engaging in conversations and getting to know each other, they hit it off immediately. Two of the girls were from England, and the other two were from Texas, USA. Learning that one of the girls had ended her engagement the previous week, and another had recently left by her boyfriend, they were all ready to have a good time.
As darkness fell, the group decided to venture out for pizza, seeking recommendations from the hostel staff. They were directed to a hidden pizzeria, though the directions provided were a bit unclear. Not bothered by the freezing weather, they hit the streets with determination. The pizzeria turned out to be at the end of a somewhat sketchy alley, but as they walked through, it opened up to a small piazza. It felt like a scene from a movie, with waiters gracefully serving pizza and prosecco to diners. Finding a table, they settled in with wine, pizza, and engaging conversations about life. On their way back after dinner, Melissa spotted a homeless person selling roses and decided a 2 Euro rose was the perfect souvenir, feeling like a character from “The Bachelor” strolling around with her single rose.
Returning to the hostel, they were astonished to see a long line at the entrance. The hostel, it turned out, was popular for a reason—it was the go-to party hub for young people in Milan. Given their stay at the hostel, they swiftly made their way to the front and opted to end the night with a drink at the rooftop bar. Engaged in lively conversations and sharing stories, time flew, and before they knew it, it was 3 am. They called it a night and headed to bed.
The next morning brought an interesting shower experience for Melissa. The bathroom light worked with a motion sensor, and the shower operated on a timer. Waving a hand in front of the sensor to get the light to turn on and at the same time attempting to get the water to run to rinse hair in the nick of time proved to be a comedic challenge.
The rest of the weekend was spent exploring every corner of Milan. They marveled at Leonardo da Vinci’s Last Supper, visited the Milan Castle, admired the Duomo, and explored the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, famous for its designer shops. The memories created over that weekend were etched into Melissa’s heart, destined to remain with her forever.
Melissa had the fortune of experiencing Carnival, a lively celebration where confetti filled the air, and Venice took center stage. The locals spared no expense on their Renaissance costumes, as the palace scrutinized them. Those with impressive costumes received invitations to the prestigious ball, a highly sought-after event. The end of the ball was marked by spectacular fireworks display by the palace.
Birthday Celebration over Easter in Rome!
As Melissa thought she had seen it all, her birthday arrived. Eager to celebrate her 21st birthday in Italy, she set out for Rome. However, Easter in Rome with the Pope’s presence in the city posed unexpected challenges. Some buildings closed to the public due to the Pope’s visit, and the city was crowded with people hoping to catch a glimpse of him. Melissa couldn’t even get a coffee to warm up in the cold weather. Despite these hurdles, she explored iconic landmarks like the Pantheon, Trevi Fountain (where she made a wish that came true seven years later—finding love), the Spanish Steps, Colosseum, Ancient ruins, and Vatican City. Although she stood in line for two hours without much progress, leading her to forgo seeing Michelangelo’s painting on the Sistine Chapel’s roof. If it counts for anything she was one of the lucky ones to get to see the Pope. While it might not sound like the ideal birthday, Melissa looks back on it with a happy heart. Being in ROME was what mattered most, and the unique story she gained from that birthday in Italy is something she treasures.
As Melissa’s time in Italy approached its end, the prospect of extending her European adventure led her to consider a move to the Netherlands. Having enjoyed her time in Europe, she entertained the idea of transitioning directly from Italy to the Netherlands. An interview with a prospective family fueled her contemplation. However, a conversation with the current Au Pair, whose view of the host family was less than favorable, swayed Melissa against it. Instead, she prepared to return to South Africa. Melissa’s advice, based on this experience, is to always speak to a previous Au Pair if the option is available. They can offer valuable insights into the dynamics of a host family.
While her time in Italy may not have been an extended program, Melissa gathered a wealth of knowledge during her stay. The experience spurred self-growth and provided valuable life lessons. She learned that often, things aren’t as daunting as they seem, and the “what ifs” are rarely as hard as you think. Embracing a mindset of going with the flow allowed her to navigate challenges. In retrospect, what once seemed difficult now appears manageable. Having traveled and thrived on her own in Italy, Melissa is motivated to explore more in the future. The support of her family has made this journey smoother. Through her personal growth, Melissa found that she outgrew some old friendships—a natural part of life, but also meeting the right people that add value to your life is a big positive.
Melissa generously shared some valuable tips for future Au Pairs considering this adventure:
- Don’t overthink traveling: Research your destinations and activities, but don’t be afraid to get lost—sometimes, that’s where the best experiences happen.
- Consult locals: Seek recommendations from local people; they often know the hidden gems.
- Book wisely: Save money by booking tickets in advance or directly from the place you want to visit (avoid third-party sellers).
- Bring a piece of home: Something that will make you feel comfortable when the day seems a bit challenging. For Melissa, that was taking her pillow with her.
- Conduct multiple interviews: Don’t settle for the first family; have more than one interview and assess your compatibility.
- Ask important questions: Be prepared for interviews; don’t let excitement overshadow essential inquiries.
- Initiate connections: As the newcomer, take the initiative to reach out and make friends; don’t be shy.
Melissa wholeheartedly recommends the program to those willing to adapt to new circumstances, embrace different cultures and lifestyles, and approach the experience with an open mind. For anyone seeking a fun challenge and ready to immerse themselves in the culture, Melissa believes this program offers the chance to have the best time abroad.
Melissa has been back in South Africa for 7 years now, and reflecting on her journey, she can genuinely say that this experience marked the beginning of something extraordinary. Embarking on her 20s with a bold move, she not only achieved that but also secured an opportunity to relocate to the bustling city of Pretoria upon her return. While she initially thought her time as an Au Pair would conclude, it seemed to have a way of finding her—an unexpected calling. Presently, Melissa works as a homeschool teacher and Au Pair, relishing every moment of her job. Fortunate to have employers who provide travel opportunities, she has explored destinations like Mauritius, the UAE, England, Australia, and the USA since returning to South Africa. Looking ahead, she aspires to focus more on homeschooling, driven by her passion for working with kids and nurturing their education. Her Au Pair experience instilled in her the virtues of open-mindedness and adaptability—qualities she continues to apply in her life. Most importantly, her journey taught her that anything is possible in the future, including finding love (a wish she made seven years ago during her memorable birthday celebration).
